I woke up to feed Noah at his usual 6:30-ish, and was privvy to a morning serenade. Maddie was already up singing at the top of her lungs. Not a care in the world, just her and her 25 stuffed animals that she sleeps with, singing. She has developed a routine of asking for her stuffed animals that she needs to cuddle with each night. Baby Sue is tops, quickly followed by Rocka and then, of course, Elmo. There are tons of other friends in her crib, whom occasionally get named for the cuddle. Heaven forbid one be missing, she'll ask for that one for sure. She has three Baby Sue dolls. You can tell which one she got first, second and third based on the progress of their dreadlocked hair. She has a thing for hair. She has twiddled, and widdled these babies hair to lovely dreads. She ALWAYS prefers the newest (i.e. least dreaded) baby Sue. When without Sue, her hair becomes a target. I've often gone to check on her before I go to bed and her fingers are still gracefully twirling her hair as she sleeps. It is really quite cute. The singing this morning was equally as beautiful. Only about 1/2 I could understand, but she was having a great time and luckily not waking up Jack so I was cool with it.
Her solo lasted about 20 minutes and then Jack did wake up to join her. Once we moved Maddie into their room, it took them SEVERAL months to realize that they shared a bedroom. When they did they started to have these great conversations which generally turn into fights that require intervention. It took them even longer to realize that they could throw things at one another from their beds. Jack is at a significant advantage being in a lofted bed, but Maddie has the lung power to almost make it unbearable to him if he does nail her with a toss. This morning was no exception. They started singing at one another and then laughing histerically. As much as I wanted to drift back to sleep it was impossible, and as much as I wanted to understand exactly what they were laughing at, that too was impossible. Inevitably it did turn into a fight, well actually a bathroom emergency. Jack was yelling that he needed to use the restroom and Maddie began yelling "I have poo-poo's". This phrase she KNOWS will get our attention very quickly and is the surest way out of the crib, true or not.
John got out of bed to start the day with the big kids, while Noah and I got to lay and cuddle a little while longer. I was able to reflect on the simplicity of Maddies songs this morning. Usually lack of awareness is regarded as a negative attribute. However with kids, I think it is something to observe, cherish and protect. She didn't care that it was too early to be awake, that her brother was sleeping in the bed next to hers or that her words didn't rhyme or that she wasn't in tune. All she knew is that she felt like singing and damn it she did!!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Take Advantage
Today I got a nice reminder of how much of my kids lives I dont know about, and how little effort it takes for me to know. Specifically I'm talking about Jack (told you there would be many posts on him). He had his 4-year old check up today. It was scheduled during naptime and I had the opportunity to take him alone while John stayed at home with the two little kids. I try to get the kids one to one whenever I can and really take advantage of the time together. This is hard to do. Usually it is wrapped up in a task, or an errand. But I have to take what I can, so today a trip to the doctor turned into a date.
After about 10 minutes of convincing Jack that this appointment would not involve any shots, he agreed to go, only if he could "sit in Joey's chair". We do preschool pick-up twice a week and keep his friends car seat in the van. Joey recently switched to a car seat where you use the van seat belt vs. the 5-point harness. This is a big deal. Really. A big deal. He'd been using Joey's seat for every ride since the switch, so it was an easy request to fulfill.
En route to the doctors office was a quiet ride. Jack was looking out the window. As I glanced back to him, I wished that I could hear his internal monologue. Is it busy? Loud? Full of questions? Labeling what he is seeing? Just to be a fly on the wall of his head would be cool.
Not too long thereafter, about half way through the ride he stated to me, "I've had a lot of birthdays". He does a lot of comparing these days to "when I was 3" or "when I was a baby", to see just how much he's grown. The transition between 3 and 4 was significant and abrupt. On the morning of his 4th birthday he promptly went through all of his underware and gave all of the 3T sizes to his little brother, because now only the 4T's would fit. To this day he still checks the tag on his clothes and will only wear ones labeled 4T. He was looking at one of John's t-shirt tags this morning and asked where the "22" was. He believes that John is 22 and I'm 17, so obviously we wear those sizes too!!!
In the van, we started talking about his 4th birthday party and the things each of us remember. The cake, his family, the gifts, what he wore. When he said that he could count all 4 birthdays I had a flash back to the day he was born. As I held him for the first time I spontaneously starting singing "Happy Birthday" to him and was soon joined in with the labor team. So technically I could count five birthdays, but I just smiled and kept this one to myself for now.
Once we arrived in the waiting room the receptionist handed us a questionaire to fill out prior to meeting with the doctor. I asked Jack the questions and had him give me the answer. I was suuprised at the ones he knew the answer to. However, I was even more happy at the ones he didn't know. I had the time and the ability to devote my attention to him to tell him the answer or help him figure it out. This questionaire turned into a great conversation and teaching moment. I think the best part of it for today was that it didn't feel forced or planned. It felt like a solid interaction with my boy. This conversation continued as we waited in the clinic room for the doctor. The nurse had given him a sheet with his current stats and a developmental summary. I read the sheet aloud to him and asked questions about his motor skills, rules, cooperation, safety and play. I was amazed at his answers. He told me of his friends (Charlie, Joey and Lawson), his dreams (the Imagination Movers), his favorite toys (puzzles) and then some (how he pretended to jump into a puddle of chocolate today at tumbling class). He asked questions and listened to my answers. We made eye contact, sat close together...he even volunteered several kisses. All while waiting for the doctor.
The check-up was good, he is a healthy and happy boy. No shots this time around, as promised. Best of all, the visit was capped with an orange sucker for the ride home. I wasn't sure that this small time of concentrated one to one interaction meant as much to him as it did me. Until he said to me from Joey's seat in the back of the van, in-between pulls from the orange sucker, "Mom, I like having dates with you".
Happy Birthday little man, Happy Birthday.
After about 10 minutes of convincing Jack that this appointment would not involve any shots, he agreed to go, only if he could "sit in Joey's chair". We do preschool pick-up twice a week and keep his friends car seat in the van. Joey recently switched to a car seat where you use the van seat belt vs. the 5-point harness. This is a big deal. Really. A big deal. He'd been using Joey's seat for every ride since the switch, so it was an easy request to fulfill.
En route to the doctors office was a quiet ride. Jack was looking out the window. As I glanced back to him, I wished that I could hear his internal monologue. Is it busy? Loud? Full of questions? Labeling what he is seeing? Just to be a fly on the wall of his head would be cool.
Not too long thereafter, about half way through the ride he stated to me, "I've had a lot of birthdays". He does a lot of comparing these days to "when I was 3" or "when I was a baby", to see just how much he's grown. The transition between 3 and 4 was significant and abrupt. On the morning of his 4th birthday he promptly went through all of his underware and gave all of the 3T sizes to his little brother, because now only the 4T's would fit. To this day he still checks the tag on his clothes and will only wear ones labeled 4T. He was looking at one of John's t-shirt tags this morning and asked where the "22" was. He believes that John is 22 and I'm 17, so obviously we wear those sizes too!!!
In the van, we started talking about his 4th birthday party and the things each of us remember. The cake, his family, the gifts, what he wore. When he said that he could count all 4 birthdays I had a flash back to the day he was born. As I held him for the first time I spontaneously starting singing "Happy Birthday" to him and was soon joined in with the labor team. So technically I could count five birthdays, but I just smiled and kept this one to myself for now.
Once we arrived in the waiting room the receptionist handed us a questionaire to fill out prior to meeting with the doctor. I asked Jack the questions and had him give me the answer. I was suuprised at the ones he knew the answer to. However, I was even more happy at the ones he didn't know. I had the time and the ability to devote my attention to him to tell him the answer or help him figure it out. This questionaire turned into a great conversation and teaching moment. I think the best part of it for today was that it didn't feel forced or planned. It felt like a solid interaction with my boy. This conversation continued as we waited in the clinic room for the doctor. The nurse had given him a sheet with his current stats and a developmental summary. I read the sheet aloud to him and asked questions about his motor skills, rules, cooperation, safety and play. I was amazed at his answers. He told me of his friends (Charlie, Joey and Lawson), his dreams (the Imagination Movers), his favorite toys (puzzles) and then some (how he pretended to jump into a puddle of chocolate today at tumbling class). He asked questions and listened to my answers. We made eye contact, sat close together...he even volunteered several kisses. All while waiting for the doctor.
The check-up was good, he is a healthy and happy boy. No shots this time around, as promised. Best of all, the visit was capped with an orange sucker for the ride home. I wasn't sure that this small time of concentrated one to one interaction meant as much to him as it did me. Until he said to me from Joey's seat in the back of the van, in-between pulls from the orange sucker, "Mom, I like having dates with you".
Happy Birthday little man, Happy Birthday.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
It takes time
The hardest adjustment to having kids just might be getting used to a different perception of time. Especially how much you can accomplish in a certain given time. This goes both ways. With the kids around I can get the usual things done, a half of a load of laundry that will have to be run again because it has started to stink, dishes rinsed, breakfast made (after finding mine still in the microwave from yesterday), garbage bagged and ready to be taken to the alley... over the course of a day. But, give me an hour to myself and World Peace is within my grasp, and watch out when John and are on the move together.
When we're out and about running errands is a plan in logistics as well. Today the lovely Auntie came over and spent the morning with us. We'd planned to run to sign our tax returns then take the kids to an indoor play place. No problem. Plan was to leave the house at 9:30, I thought making it to the playground within an hour. We had the kids bundled and loaded in the car by 9:45am, signed our tax forms a half hour later and were off. Oh yes, a quick stop for coffee. Auntie ran in and got the coffee while I nursed Noah in the van. I noticed that it was a sauna in the backseats. I apparently had the heat on the hottest and highest settings. No wonder the kids cheeks were bright red and they'd been falling asleep. 10 mom points. By 11am we'd made it to the playground only to arrive with three sleeping kids, still hot from the sauna-van.
Now generally I'm fairly anal about getting the kids to our destination early for the day. This serves many purposes. I like to get there before a lot of others, and leave to get home to eat and nap. I may have taken the "sleep when the baby sleeps" a little too seriously. I still need my afternoon nap, laundry, dishes and garbage be dammed....and I'll structure my day around it.
Well the playground was closed this day, and we ended up just taking a walk outside. I figured they'd been cooped up in their roasting car seats, in winter jackets and hats for almost two hours by this time. So we pulled out the double stroller, and away we went. Ten minutes later we were back in the car headed home. It was probably hovering around the mid-thirties today and we had no gloves or boots. So back to home we went.
On the plus side I got to have a long over-due extended conversation with Auntie with relatively few disruptions, a cup of great coffee with steamed milk, and a morning out of the house. And as much as I tried, the coffee got to me and I didn't get a nap afterall.
When we're out and about running errands is a plan in logistics as well. Today the lovely Auntie came over and spent the morning with us. We'd planned to run to sign our tax returns then take the kids to an indoor play place. No problem. Plan was to leave the house at 9:30, I thought making it to the playground within an hour. We had the kids bundled and loaded in the car by 9:45am, signed our tax forms a half hour later and were off. Oh yes, a quick stop for coffee. Auntie ran in and got the coffee while I nursed Noah in the van. I noticed that it was a sauna in the backseats. I apparently had the heat on the hottest and highest settings. No wonder the kids cheeks were bright red and they'd been falling asleep. 10 mom points. By 11am we'd made it to the playground only to arrive with three sleeping kids, still hot from the sauna-van.
Now generally I'm fairly anal about getting the kids to our destination early for the day. This serves many purposes. I like to get there before a lot of others, and leave to get home to eat and nap. I may have taken the "sleep when the baby sleeps" a little too seriously. I still need my afternoon nap, laundry, dishes and garbage be dammed....and I'll structure my day around it.
Well the playground was closed this day, and we ended up just taking a walk outside. I figured they'd been cooped up in their roasting car seats, in winter jackets and hats for almost two hours by this time. So we pulled out the double stroller, and away we went. Ten minutes later we were back in the car headed home. It was probably hovering around the mid-thirties today and we had no gloves or boots. So back to home we went.
On the plus side I got to have a long over-due extended conversation with Auntie with relatively few disruptions, a cup of great coffee with steamed milk, and a morning out of the house. And as much as I tried, the coffee got to me and I didn't get a nap afterall.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Listening Ears
I have a feeling there will be a lot of posts about Jack. There is something about naming a child Jack that gives them this certain energy. Jacks zest for life is unable to be quenched, and he is sometimes too smart for his own good. He can make me well up with tears out of pride or want to pull all of my hair out. He is the child that we had to double gate (one on top of the other) because he would wander through the house at crazy hours. We did this until we found him in the "big" room (as we call it), double gates intact. He had removed the vent cover from his wall and crawled through the wall into the bathroom where he pushed the other vent cover out. That is Jack.
The instance that happened that prompted this whole blogging attempt was last Friday evening. I had all three kids at the Childrens Museum, and we'd met up with a few other pals of mine with their kids. After a bite at McDonalds (thats right), we were all playing and enjoying our time. Jack was doing his own thing and after awhile I found him digging in a pit of small rubber pieces looking for dinosaur bones. Jack began tossing small pieces of rubber all over the place. I completed the 1-2-3 counting that we do (I'll post more on that one too), and no cooperation from him. Tired, for sure...but I needed to get him to stop. I'd been holding Noah in a carrier (nursing most of the time), chasing after Maddie and I was hot sweaty and ready to have a glass of wine. Jack has a way of knowing this....the throwing of the rubber pieces continued. Finally I was able to get him over to me. As I drew in a breath to yell at him something happened. This something has never happened with Jack before. This something took 4 years to happen. I paused.
In that pause I was able to silence the mommy-monologue that is continually running through my head. "I think you forgot to turn on your Listening Ears", he looked at me totally confused. I really had no idea where I was going with this one. "Hmmmmm. I see them. But I think the batteries are worn out", this got his attention and without missing a beat he reached into his pockets pulled out imaginary Listening Ear batteries, put them in his ears and turned them on. (Side note: they turn on exactly the same way that Scott the Imagination Mover turns on his Wobble Goggles, which Jack has a pair of as well...surely there will be posts about the Movers). All it took was a little reminder to do better listening and he was off playing nicely with the other kids for the rest of the evening. I did tell him on the way out to the mini-van that I was proud of him. "How come I get to me your mom", I asked him. He looked at me and said, "I choose you Mom", very matter of factly.
That pause. It is something I've worked on since Jack was born. It is something that I work on with all of my kids. What was it about that moment? In a chaotic, loud, bright place, at the end of a week and after a long day at home. Probably the most unlikely place for a nice parenting moment. But it happened, and now I've got a new tool. Listening Ears.
The instance that happened that prompted this whole blogging attempt was last Friday evening. I had all three kids at the Childrens Museum, and we'd met up with a few other pals of mine with their kids. After a bite at McDonalds (thats right), we were all playing and enjoying our time. Jack was doing his own thing and after awhile I found him digging in a pit of small rubber pieces looking for dinosaur bones. Jack began tossing small pieces of rubber all over the place. I completed the 1-2-3 counting that we do (I'll post more on that one too), and no cooperation from him. Tired, for sure...but I needed to get him to stop. I'd been holding Noah in a carrier (nursing most of the time), chasing after Maddie and I was hot sweaty and ready to have a glass of wine. Jack has a way of knowing this....the throwing of the rubber pieces continued. Finally I was able to get him over to me. As I drew in a breath to yell at him something happened. This something has never happened with Jack before. This something took 4 years to happen. I paused.
In that pause I was able to silence the mommy-monologue that is continually running through my head. "I think you forgot to turn on your Listening Ears", he looked at me totally confused. I really had no idea where I was going with this one. "Hmmmmm. I see them. But I think the batteries are worn out", this got his attention and without missing a beat he reached into his pockets pulled out imaginary Listening Ear batteries, put them in his ears and turned them on. (Side note: they turn on exactly the same way that Scott the Imagination Mover turns on his Wobble Goggles, which Jack has a pair of as well...surely there will be posts about the Movers). All it took was a little reminder to do better listening and he was off playing nicely with the other kids for the rest of the evening. I did tell him on the way out to the mini-van that I was proud of him. "How come I get to me your mom", I asked him. He looked at me and said, "I choose you Mom", very matter of factly.
That pause. It is something I've worked on since Jack was born. It is something that I work on with all of my kids. What was it about that moment? In a chaotic, loud, bright place, at the end of a week and after a long day at home. Probably the most unlikely place for a nice parenting moment. But it happened, and now I've got a new tool. Listening Ears.
I Have Three Kids
As I feel I've started a new route in my life. I feel a new blog may be in order. I've been re-reading my previous blog and just am not in touch with that lady any more. It's not that harsh...I just want a clean start. So INTRODUCING...."I have Three kids".
This phrase was provided to me by a dear friend who has advised me to utilize it as often and for any reason what so ever. Late to a party? I have three kids. House a mess? I have three kids. Forgotten to shower? I have three kids.
To explain I do have three kids. The most recent one arrived in December. Noah. He is a neat little guy and has really completed our family in a nice way. The remainder two are Jack and Maddie. Equally as cool, and interesing in their own ways. I wont go on to divulge too much here. My hope is that their personalities will come out through my blogging. I should mention too that there is a husband here too, John. His is spectacular at being a cool dad and husband. I'll let his personality emerge through stories as well.
While I believe that this will be an opportunity for me to process the events in my life with three kids, and hopefully to share funny stories and thoughts about our lives. I've observed several small things over the past few days that felt like they needed to be written. So here goes...our No-where-near-to-perfect, clean, organized or stress-free lives. On a Blog, for all to see.
This phrase was provided to me by a dear friend who has advised me to utilize it as often and for any reason what so ever. Late to a party? I have three kids. House a mess? I have three kids. Forgotten to shower? I have three kids.
To explain I do have three kids. The most recent one arrived in December. Noah. He is a neat little guy and has really completed our family in a nice way. The remainder two are Jack and Maddie. Equally as cool, and interesing in their own ways. I wont go on to divulge too much here. My hope is that their personalities will come out through my blogging. I should mention too that there is a husband here too, John. His is spectacular at being a cool dad and husband. I'll let his personality emerge through stories as well.
While I believe that this will be an opportunity for me to process the events in my life with three kids, and hopefully to share funny stories and thoughts about our lives. I've observed several small things over the past few days that felt like they needed to be written. So here goes...our No-where-near-to-perfect, clean, organized or stress-free lives. On a Blog, for all to see.
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