Saturday, May 21, 2011

All in a Name

I always cringed when people would address their significant others as "mom" or "dad". It seemed silly and kind of gross. I recall making a mental note to be mindful not to do this with John. He, after all, isn't my dad. Then we had kids. His nickname didn't change overnight, there was still the usual "babe" or "honey", etc. but there was the occasional "dad" sprinkled in there. I still cringed when I said it and didn't like it.

But then I remember spending a Christmas, as we normally do, with family. I recall observing the group for quite some time and noticing that the family was all doing something similar. Each and every one of them was addressing one another in the way a child would. Auntie Jackie is always Auntie Jackie, unless she is being addressed as "Nina" (for being a grandmother). Uncle Doug is always Uncle Doug. Uncle Matt is usually Uncle Matt, unless you are at a Wild game with him and he is trying to look cool for the ladies. Their relationships with children now define their title and how they present themselves to a good percentage of people in their life.

I realized that my family generally does this as well. Wes is now, "Grandpa Wes", my mom is now "Numna", and my sister is "Auntie", even some non-blood relatives have adopted these names of endearment and utilize them with pride, even when the kids are not around.

How spectacular is this? For a family member to appreciate, honor and respect the children around them that they change the way they are addressed by all. I can see no better term that to be called "mom", and in fact I will take it from anyone who wishes, even my husband, even if it is a little weird. It is the most important title I have and I will wear it out.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Get Back

Okay. I need to get back to this writing. I miss it and I need to take the Recreation Therapist advise I'm offering to myself to make time for leisure. So I am.

I have been thinking about how lucky we are to have friends with kids who have been able to share their clothes with us, pass along a box of toys, books. Gently used. That really is nice. Very nice and I'm so appreciative of this.

However, there is no way in hell that I would ever be able to return not only their stuff, but pay it forward. I've finally come to terms with the fact that my family make GREAT end-users. That is just how it is.

I've never been able to put much stock into my stuff, the things that I have. First because I tend not to take the best care of my stuff, I'm being honest here. I don't separate whites from dark clothes, or pre-treat stains, etc. I rarely buy something new, preferring to spend my dollars at Savers or the Goodwill instead. I think it is a two way street. After all it is just stuff, and we have PLENTY of it. I was never one to research supplies for my kids, brands, styles. We usually bought what we liked and went from there. Making what we had work for us, rather than working for the thing we need.

RANT.

It took me some time to get to this point. I wish that I was awesome and could pass along baby clothes to my friends having kids. I would love to pay it forward, and they are all welcome to the things that have arrived at our house used and gone through three busy kiddos, but I just cant do that in good conscience. So I've decided that at least for now, we will be proud end-users. Making sure that these things will get the most use possible before being re-donated, recycled or (gasp) demolished and put in the garbage.

If nothing else, I'm spending my time where for me it counts. Engaged with others, as much as I can be. That to me is worth a trip to the Goodwill any day!!